»
S
I
D
E
B
A
R
«
Feelings must be processed, not ignored.
May 16th, 2012 by msibley

One of my favorite ways to relax these days is getting together with one of my best friends at a coffee shop, enjoying a latte, while we sit and vent about what’s been going on in our lives. It gives my friend and I both an opportunity to not only spend time together and bond, but to relieve ourselves of what annoying, angering, exciting things we’ve been holding in and dying to tell someone. Now don’t think this was always the case. A few years ago, I deserved a prize for being the best at holding everything inside. I didn’t want to share what was going on in my life with anyone, whatsoever. I isolated myself. I feared talking about everything that made me happy, sad, angry, or guilty, thinking it would just make me feel even worse. The desire to be perfect overwhelmed me. When I wasn’t being perfect in a certain aspect of my life, my world flipped upside down.

One of the main aspects of my life that this occurred was in my diet. I was determined to make some sort of ‘lifestyle change’ in which I would dedicate two hours of my day to the gym and wouldn’t eat anything that came out of a box. (Yes, I hopped on the clean-eating, no processed food crazy train.) This was not maintainable. I think I knew that deep down. So when I broke my diet, I broke my ‘streak of perfection’, and would cope with my feelings of failure using food.

One of the main reasons people restrict their food intake, binge out of control, purge after meals, or graze during the day is to avoid facing uncomfortable or overwhelming emotions. In times of boredom, procrastination, depression, or anxiety, food can have a very numbing and soothing effect, but it’s not needed to experience those feelings.

“Feelings must be processed, not ignored.”

Feelings cannot resolve if you try to deny they exist. Imagine the stress you would feel if you never journaled or vented to someone about what went on during each day you spend at work, school, or other activity. You cannot hide from your emotions either. Feelings must be processed, rather than being ignored. How?  Identify them — try to understand exactly what you are feeling and why you are feeling that way — then ‘sit with the funk’ until the intensity of the emotion fades.

Like coaches always say, “practice makes perfect”. Learning how to deal with your emotions will not come quickly. Over time, however, it will become second nature to actually feel your feelings. For me personally, learning to process my feelings helped me to understand who I am as a person. It’s crazy how understanding what you feel and why you feel that way can help you develop and define a strong sense of self.

Deirdra Price, PhD, lists a number of ways to help process your feelings in her book Healing the Hungry Self: The Diet-Free Solution to Lifelong Weight Management.

  1. Sit through your feelings: Try to ‘feel your feelings’ instead of avoiding or denying them. Try to figure out what events or situation took place that made you feel a certain way and that is making you want to reach for food. If you find it’s someone or a specific event that is causing these emotions, devise some kind of action plan to put into place when you are placed in that situation again. For me personally, one of the places I would reach for food was at work. Anytime I got bored, I’d make a smoothie or take leftover smoothies from what customers ordered. I had to plan out other (probably more productive) things for myself to do when I ran into boredom.
  2. Write in a journal: Keep a daily journal to assess which feelings and circumstances affect your eating behaviors. You could also write to process emotions at the end of the day after work or school. By keeping a journal, you can learn to identify, understand, and cope with your emotions. Writing can bring an extreme amount of releif that can help release some steam after a long day. Also, journaling before you eat can help calm any feelings that are making you want to eat in order to avoid them.
  3. Call people: Having supportive friends, even if it’s a single person, who understand what you are dealing with and who will gladly talk to you through a difficult time can help tremendously. A strong support network helps decrease your sense of isolation, which comes from being secretive about eating behaviors. Maybe you have a friend who has similar issues or common life experiences. If you do not know of someone to call to talk to that you feel can relate to your issues, joining a group or making connections with other people who are dealing with similar issues can offer great support. Pick people who are trustworthy and who will keep your confidence.
  4. Pamper yourself: Ladies, this is my personal favorite. Men will never understand how relaxing getting a manicure or pedicure can be. Food is commonly used for calming and soothing. Think about what calms you, what soothes you. Find other ways to create this effect without the involvement of food – bubble baths, long walks, massages, meditation, listening to music. Pick an activity that feels good and do it instead of engaging in unhealthy eating behaviors. You could pick one activity a week, then increase it to two. One of my personal favorites is cuddling up with a blanket and watching my favorite movie or reading an interesting book. If your choice of soothing activity is reading, be careful in choosing your book. You do not want to dive into a depressing book when you are already feeling depressed.
  5. Get moving: Subtle exercise can release a lot of tension. It also creates a ‘feel good’ sensation. A variety of chemical reactions affect the body and help reduce stress and tension, elevate your mood, and create a sees of euphoria. Make sure that if you do exercise, you do it in a balanced manner. Be careful to not shift engaging unhealthy eating behaviors into unhealthy exercise behaviors. One of my favorite things to do when I am feeling a little ‘funky’ is dancing. I love Zumba. Ten to thirty minutes usually puts me in a much better mood for the rest of the day!
  6. Isolate your eating behaviors: One of the biggest habits dieters pick up over time is what I like to call the ‘I’ll start over tomorrow syndrome’. Basically, the defines the thought process that goes through a dieter’s head once they have broken their diet by eaten a food that their diet doesn’t call for. It is a series of emotions of failure, shame, and guilty, that cause a person to believe that they have ruined their entire diet and the day is a waste, that they will just start over the next day (hence the title). Right after you binge, graze, purge, or restrict, consider the behaviors completed. Start over right then! Do NOT wait until the next day. Pass GO, collect your $200 and move on. Ever moment is a new beginning. Everyone slips up, relapses, makes mistakes. Consider each a learning experience, and  go from there.
  7. Stop weighing yourself: Your weight is just a number. It does not define you. I am 5’10. When people look at me, they assume I weigh about 150 or 160 and am maybe a size 10. In reality, I weigh anywhere from 210-220 and am a size 14-16. If I let my weight or size define who I am, I think I’d be feeling bad about myself all the time. All weighing does is provide ammunition for self – criticism. This criticism can become obsessive. When you stop constantly weighing yourself, your obsessive thoughts about weight will decrease, which will reduce the emphasis on your body. If you are used to weighing yourself every day, wean yourself off from the scale slowly, as you would any other addiction. Weigh yourself every other day if you can’t help it, then twice a week, to once a week, to once a month. Eventually, you won’t be reaching for the scale.
  8. Get rid of all your ‘goal’ clothes: Give away or store all clothes that are too small. Keeping these clothes in your closet and trying them on periodically only makes for an opportunity to feel bad about your current size. These clothes easily become a new scale to measure your weight, size, and shape. Buy and wear clothes that fit you comfortably. Over time, you will develop a level of comfort with the size of clothing that currently fits you.
  9. Plan activities: Get out of the house and try/participate in something you’ve been wanting to do for awhile. Choose a positive alternative to unhealthy eating behaviors. Pick something you’re interested in, that you have the time and money to pursuer, and that are convenient. The easier and more interesting the activity, the more likely you are to stick with it. A few ideas: find a new hobby, join a group that advocates a specific cause, learn a new sport, take up art, crafts, or needlework, explore local areas, or start gardening.
  10. See a professional: Whether it be a dietitian or a counselor, see someone who specializes in eating disorders or disordered eating to talk through the emotions underneath the eating issues.

 

References:

  • Deirdra Price, PhD, Healing the Hungry Self: The Diet-Free Solution to Lifelong Weight Management
Stop dieting. Stop it.
May 9th, 2012 by jpereira

While I was researching for my next post, I ran across the video. It was featured on the Intuitive Eating home website. I watched it, and knew I needed to share! Produced by a woman that spent years yo-yo dieting, it features great questions and statistics on why we are putting off stopping this madness that is dieting. Check it out here!

When Negative Thoughts Attack!
May 8th, 2012 by msibley

Once upon a time, a girl awoke in the early AM to get ready for work. She takes a dreaded first look at herself in the mirror. ‘Ugh… eww’ is all she can think.

She starts to take specific notice of her face first. ‘My eyes look so tired. But I slept so good last night. Why do I have such ugly bags under my eyes all the time? I look like I haven’t slept in days. And that stupid zit… There’s just no getting rid of it. It’s going to take a lot of concealer to cover this one up, and even then people are still going to look at me and think ‘pizza face’. Oh, well. Can’t beat the dark spots. Thank the Lord for make-up.’

She starts to undress for a morning shower, immediately recognizing other ‘trouble spots’. She thinks, ‘I should really start working out more because my arms and legs look way too flabby. There’s no way I’m going to look good in my dress this weekend. I probably shouldn’t even go out on Friday with my friends … If I wait until I’ve lost some weight, I’ll probably have more fun and feel more confident. While I’m at it, I’ll work on the rolls that show when I sit down. There’s no way that looks attractive to anyone.’

Then she runs into the enemy that is the closet and clothes. ‘These pants make my legs look fat. I need to get rid of these love-handles. I wish this shirt wasn’t so tight. It shows everything! That’s it, my diet starts today. Anything I wear is going to look horrible.’ She leaves the house, already lacking the confidence she needs to get through her work day.

And that’s only the beginning.

This scenario represents the daily thoughts that ran through my head each morning only a short few years ago when I was seriously obsessed with diet, exercise, and my physical appearance. I would feed myself thoughts that turned my days that had the ability to be great to absolutely horrible. And as a result, by the time I’d get home from work or school, I’d feel so bad about myself that I would isolate from friends, family, and other priorities and cope with my emotions by eating, most often times binging.

Have you ever noticed yourself thinking nothing but negative thoughts about yourself? The reasons we feel anxious, discouraged, self-conscious, and other feelings that tend to drag us down, come as a result of negative thinking. And often times, the thoughts we think are not trustworthy. Just because you have a thought about yourself doesn’t make it a fact. Everyone at some point has negative thoughts that cause them to believe things about themselves that are not based on reality.

Even in certain situations, how you interpret them affects how you feel. It might not be what’s actually happening to you or around  you that is making you feel anxious, sad, self-confident, happy, angry, or neutral. It’s how you have interpreted what’s happening. The same goes for when you interpret your reflection. In reality, it’s not your appearance that causes you problems, but rather your evaluation of it.

But let’s face it, in our society today, we are bombarded with images of ‘picture-perfect’ celebrities and super-beautiful cast members on our favorite TV shows. How are we seriously supposed to feel good about the way we look? Just like a lot of things in life – it’s simple, but it’s hard.

Let’s start with the first step: acceptance. Did you know that despite their best intentions to increase confidence and self-image, when most people lose weight, they still tend to feel negative about themselves and the way they look? A recent study preformed at Purdue University showed that self-esteem in some overweight girls didn’t bounce back, even after weight was lost and their body mass index returned to normal. In other words, slimming down doesn’t guarantee you improved body image. It’s important to understand  the significance of who you are and what you look like. It does one no good psychologically or physically to stress over their looks when comparing themselves to others.

 

Now to introduce our new favorite enemy: automatic negative thoughts.

Automatic negative thoughts, developed by Dr. Aaron Beck, a highly respected cognitive therapist, are situation specific, so they can change somewhat depending on where you are and whose company you are in. But they always end up making you feel bad. Why is this the case? Most often, it all comes down to the much deeper beliefs you hold that underlie your thoughts. Your thoughts are influenced by the beliefs you hold about yourself, your future, and the world around you.

Most of our automatic negative thoughts are a result of disordered or distorted thinking, most often, but not always, related to our physical appearance. It’s important to find out whether your thoughts are useful and true or unhelpful and distorted. A good way to do this is to check your thoughts for certain self-defeating biases. Sabime Wilhelm, PhD, notes these specific types of distorted thinking in his program Feeling Good About the Way You Look.

TYPES OF DISTORTED THINKING

  • All or Nothing Thinking – You think in such extremes that you see things as falling into one of only two categories. Good or bad. Pretty or ugly. Black or white. There are no grey areas. This type of thinking can cause you to feel sad, anxious, or disappointed, and it’s often associated with perfectionism or having excessively high standards.
  • ‘Should, Must, Ought, and Have To’ Statements – You have strict rules about the way things ‘should be,’ and you overestimate how bad it will be if something deviates from your expectations. Unattainable standards may make you feel pressure, shame, guilt, and self-loathing.
  • Mind-Reading – Whenever you mind-read, you make assumptions that you know what other people are thinking. Because you are ‘so sure’ about what the other person thinks, it doesn’t even occur to you that the other person might have thought something neutral or positive about your appearance, or maybe didn’t even think about your appearance at all. As a result, attention from others often makes you feel self-conscious, angry, or anxious.
  • Fortune Telling – You might predict a dismal future because of your looks without considering more likely and less catastrophic outcomes. For example, you might expect to be turned down for dates because of they way you think you look. Therefore, you just end up avoiding dates at all costs. This directly affects your level of happiness. Usually people have no objective evidence on which to base their negative expectations for the future.
  • Personalization – You have the tendency to consider negative or even irrelevant events as having something negative to do with you, rather than considering all the different factors that might have contributed to a situation. If you personalize, attention from others often makes you feel embarrassed or ashamed.
  • Emotional Reasoning – You think something is true because it feels true, therefore you take your emotions as evidence of the truth. Emotional reasoning explains why your body image can change after you hear a critical comment about your appearance or eat a bag of potato chips. Your actual appearance has not really changed, but you may think you look fat because you feel full.
  • Labeling – You put a label on yourself that is unhelpful, usually heavily emotionally loaded, and inaccurate. You may actually dislike only a couple of your features or body parts. But by attaching a specific label to yourself, you’re no longer talking about specifics’ rather, you’re making a universal statement about your appearance or personality. This can make you ultimately feel sad, ashamed, and hopeless.
  • Selective Attention and Magnification – You notice and remember certain things more than others. It can cause you to pay too much attention to little flaws, therefore missing the big picture. Selective attention may also play a role in what you see when you look in the mirror. If you are dissatisfied with your appearance, it’s likely that you pay a lot of attention to any body part you consider imperfect.
  • Discounting the Positives – You might receive a compliment from someone and end up filtering out anything that is good, or even worse, you might distort it, so that in the end it winds up being negative. For example, thinking ‘She was only nice because she felt sorry for me’. Discounting anything positive that comes your way not only prevents you from appreciating or enjoying compliments or other nice events but it can also lead you to maintain a false belief, despite the contradictory evidence right under your nose.

 

So you may be thinking – ‘That is a lot of information… BUT I’VE TOTALLY DONE THAT!’

Join the club.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself to help evaluate your negative thoughts.

  • Is this thought helpful right now? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this type of thinking?
  • What is the evidence for my thought? Do I have factual evidence?
  • So what if…?
  • What is the worst that could happen if my fears came true? Could I live through it? Would it really change the big picture? Would I still care about it a few years from now?
  • What is the best that could happen?
  • Is my thought logical?
  • Does…. really mean that….?
  • What would I tell a friend in this situation?

 

 

I challenge you. Try to catch your negative thoughts when they occur. Ask yourself questions and answer your negative thoughts with rational answers. Believe me, not obsessing over the very things you think about and that bother you the most can be extremely freeing. You are more able to enjoy your life when you are not constantly thinking about yourself compared to others or what they could possibly be thinking about you. A very wise Dr. Suess once said, “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

 

References:

  • Happy Birthday to You! by Dr. Suess
  • Feeling Good About the Way You Look, Sabime Wilhelm, PhD
Seventeen Magazine
May 2nd, 2012 by jpereira

Julia Bluhm, 14, has started a petition for Seventeen Magazine to feature one unaltered photo spread each month! AWESOME!

Julia Bluhm, 14, courtesy Yahoo.com/news

 

Check out this article!

Like the article? Sign the petition here and follow the petitions progress with updates!

Being Healthy: Stop the Madness!
Apr 6th, 2012 by msibley

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been on a diet.

[Raises hand... very, very high.]

Scene.

"At any given time, one out of three women and one out of four men are on a diet or trying to lose weight." Credit: www.eatingdisorderfoundation.com

 

I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone that has said they haven’t been on some sort of diet — not anyone of any certain shape or size. Personal experience? I took in diet tips and passed them on as easily as I said hello and goodbye. I had a folder full of pages torn from fitness and clean eating magazines for daily use and inspiration in trying to achieve the ‘perfect’ body according to magazines and tv shows and, well you know, our entire society. And after years, I still wondered — “If I am consistently on my diet, then why am I not losing weight or keeping it off?’

The answer is simple. Because I was dieting.

Dieting taught me nothing but shame, guild, restriction, and blame. I was a walking encyclopedia of fat grams, calories, and carbohydrates. I didn’t know how to connect with someone on a personal level, but I sure did know how many calories were in a slice of pizza.

So many times, usually on Monday mornings when I would ‘start fresh’ after a weekend of gorging through my pantry and binging on the ‘bad stuff’ at nights, I would tell myself and everyone who asked me about my diet that I was just “trying to be healthy.” But let me assure you I was lying to myself and those around me. I hated my body and wanted nothing more than to change it to fit the mold of perfection. What I was doing to my body was not healthy at all.

What makes you healthy anyways?

Jessica Weiner provides a ‘What is Healthy?’ checklist in her fabulous and inspiring book Do I Look Fat In This?: Life Doesn’t Begin Five Pounds From Now.

 

Is healthy….

  • Eating nothing with fat in it?
  • Never having dessert?
  • Eating no or a low amount of carbs?
  • Being able to fit into a smaller size than you are? The smallest size in the store?
  • Working out every day?
  • Having physical beauty?
  • Being popular?
  • Being the weight the doctor’s chart tells you to be?
  • Having your partner think you’re attractive?

Or is healthy….

  • Showing love freely and easily?
  • Being able to run a marathon?
  • Being able to walk a flight of stairs?
  • Having the ability to set healthy boundaries? Like saying no gracefully?
  • Being open to expressing emotions?
  • Letting go of control?
  • Taking time off for rest or vacation?
  • Being a kind friend?
  • Having faith in a higher power or belief in the workings of the world?
  • Loving the skin you are in?

 

Weiner says, “…to talk about health is to talk about more than just weight charts and fat counts. It is to talk about wholeness, wellness, and a sense of complete balance mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.”

She is completely right. The health industry makes an outlandish amount of money each year by crushing our self-esteem, claiming to have the next magic pill or other product that will make us feel better and happier about ourselves.

Let’s get down to the nitty-gritty and face the truth:

When people say that they just want to get healthy (not out of medical necessity), they are really saying they don’t want to be fat or look the way they do — the ‘get healthy’ trend is popular, yet eating disorders and depression cases are on the rise — so many women and men completely miserable with the way they look, restricting themselves of foods they enjoy, beating themselves and having little self-esteem, feeling guilty and depressed after giving in to any food deemed ‘bad’, then gorging themselves on other ‘bad’ foods to cover  up the feelings of guilt and depression, declaring a fresh start with a new diet the next day, then repeating it all over again –SERIOUSLY, a vicious cycle. We have to redefine what is healthy and what isn’t.


“There’s lots of of people in this world who spend so much time watching their healthy that they haven’t the time to enjoy it.” – Josh Billings


I always think back to my days of dieting… How after a weekend of ‘cheat meals’ and binging and feelings of resentment, I would tell myself  ”I’ll start my diet on Monday” — in other words, I was telling myself that I can start being happy on Monday – the day of promise to myself to be a thinner, happier me, as if all of my issues will just disappear when I could fit into a smaller size. The thought of giving up dieting was frightening! Because when I was ‘doing good’, I seemed the happiest! Why would I want to stop dieting and be sad?

Has the fact that you haven’t reached the size you desire masked any other accomplishments you have or want to achieve? Has your so-called love addiction to your diet and workout schedule become priority over your relationship with friends and family? Do you think of yourself as a failure for not reaching your goal weight or size? When your life becomes your image, you tend to restrict in other areas of your life.

Guess what… I could have been the physically healthiest person in the world, eating everything I was supposed to, avoiding foods I wasn’t supposed to eat, working out on a consistent daily two-hour schedule — and I totally could have still stepped off a curb into the street and gotten hit by a bus. And I thought dieting took all my problems away!

Dieting, going off my diet, binging, and then dieting again was not a pattern I could live with for the rest of my life. Being healthy is about living a well-rounded life — moving your body, eating balanced meals, and working on your mental and spiritual health. There is so much to receive from life NOW, not five, ten, fifteen pounds from now, and consuming your life with dieting and a lack of self-esteem and confidence can hold you back.

There is no universal image of ‘healthy’ — it comes in all shapes and sizes (despite what the charts at the doctor’s office tells you).

You have specific responsibilities to your body every day:

  • Feed it: Honor your bodies sensation of hunger and fullness. You’re body will let you know when to eat and when to stop and what it needs. When you obey your body’s cues, you initiate natural portion control. No stress involved. Eat balanced meals complete with carbs and fat/protein. Don’t restrict food in general or different types of food. All foods have some sort of nutritional benefit to your body.
  • Think positive thoughts: Don’t let your mind obsess over calories, carbs, fats, and how your legs and butt look in those pants.
  • Move it: Your body is capable of doing so many things, whether it be getting out of bed in the morning, allowing you to play with your kids and pets, even running a marathon. It treats you well, so treat it well too. Be appreciative of what your hands, eyes, feet, legs, and arms can do for you on a daily basis, how it can get you from point A to point B…
  • Talk nicely to it: Learn to love the junk in the trunk. Don’t criticize it. It doesn’t criticize you! Talk to your body like you would a close friend – lovingly.

As you can see above, fitting a certain image (six pack, toned arms, skinny legs, etc) is not one of the specific responsibilities you have to your body. Believe me, I know it’s not easy to feel happy with the way you look, especially if you have been body-concious for years or if your body is larger than what, by our society’s standards, should be. But remember biology class and learning about genetics? Plastic surgery and diet and exercise can only get you so far. Your genetics are instilled in you and are not changing. The nutshell version: Everyone comes in different shapes and sizes, some large, some tall, some short, and some small. Each person’s weight and size is their own business and no one has the right to offer insight on how to ‘fix’ it. Even doctors must look at each patient differently, one case different from another.

Our daily lives consist of happenings and interruptions. Health must be based up this — reality. You must take reality into consideration when defining your success in health. Learn to love what you’ve got. Don’t throw away your power on gimmicks, diets, and magic pills. You are the only one that holds the key that unlocks the door to happiness, and you can open that door today — not when you lose a few pounds.

References:

  • Do I Look Fat In This? Life Doesn’t Begin Five Pounds from Now, Jessica Weiner, 2006.
  • www.nationaleatingdisordersfoundation.com
Underweight Models Banned in Advertising; Eat More Chocolate!
Apr 4th, 2012 by msibley

Here are some recent news articles that caught my eye this past week!

Eat More Chocolate!

“Eating chocolate may be “a marker for lifestyle and relaxed attitudes toward eating — healthy attitudes,” says Marion Nestle, PhD, MPH, a professor of nutrition, food studies, and public health at New York University. Nestle is not  related to the chocolate company, and she wasn’t involved in the study. Researchers say they looked for other things that might explain the weight differences they saw, but chocolate eaters didn’t appear to exercise more or engage in other kinds of behaviors that might explain why they were slimmer than non-chocolate eaters.”

Read the rest of this article here.

 

Underweight Models Banned from Advertising

“Israeli lawmakers have banned underweight models from catwalks and commercials, a measure they hope will reduce eating disorders and promote a healthy body image.

The law, passed late on Monday, says women and men cannot be hired for modeling jobs unless a doctor stipulates they are not underweight, with a body mass index (BMI) — a measure    expressing a ratio of weight to height — of no less than 18.5. The law also bans the use of a person who “appears underweight” and says advertisers must explicitly state if graphic    manipulation was done to make a model look thinner in a photo.”

Read the rest of this article here.

 

References:

  • http://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/news/20120326/eat-more-chocolate-weigh-less
  • http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/03/20/us-israel-models-law-idUSBRE82J0G420120320
‘Thinspiration’ Becoming More Obvious On Some of Our Favorite Websites
Mar 30th, 2012 by msibley

"We are constantly comparing ourselves to others..."

Some of the most popular websites we use today are becoming top spots for users seeking ‘thinspiration’, otherwise known as inspiration to be thin. I recently made a Pinterest account, and no doubt, I can honestly say that every day I see at least one pin of ‘thinspiration’ from pinners that I follow. I tried searching thinspiration, and well, here are just a few of the many pins that resulted. Included are the captions that were posted with the pictures onto the users’ pin boards.

 

Caption read - 'thinspiration!!'

 

Caption read - 'clavicles! I want to see my clavicles! #skinny'

Caption read - 'putting this on my mirror and refrigerator! gotta be bikini ready.'

Caption read - 'new diet for summer. #skinny'

Of all the pins I saw on Pinterest after searching 'Thinspiration', this was the most popular and commonly pinned.

Pinterest users can easily find ‘thinspiration’, whether they search for it or not. The last pin that reads, ‘Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’, breaks my heart. As the most common pin I found, it seems to be an anthem in pursuing thinness, or in other words, a different body type, that is making waves in the Pinterest world.

  • Why are we so unhappy with ourselves that we wish to look a different way?
  • Why do we assume that looking a different way brings about feelings of happiness?
  • Bodies come in all shapes and sizes… So why are we so ashamed of ours?

In the most recent blog post, The Evolution of Beauty and Self-Image, I stated that it was in the 1960′s when Twiggy came to be a model-superstar and became the face of what is ‘beautiful’.  Thinness started to become an obsession. Twiggy was known to be a naturally thin woman. Yet, so many fans tested their body’s limits, using extreme diet and exercise, often developing eating disorders, in trying to achieve her ‘thin’ look. It seems as if this is still what many people today would consider beautiful. These pins represent the many pictures online that are reinforcing users’ beliefs that they are ‘not good enough’ or ‘not beautiful’. And the team at Pinterest and other websites, like Facebook and Tumblr, are beginning to take control.

Here are some recent news articles regarding ‘thinspiration’ and what the websites are doing about it.

Have you been witness to ‘thinspiration’ on the internet? It’s not just seen on Pinterest, Facebook, and Tumblr. Thinspiration is seen everywhere — in the magazines we read, on the TV shows we watch, in the songs we listen to… We believe that bodies come in all shapes and sizes and one should embrace the body they have. Comment below, we’d love to hear your opinion!

 

The Evolution of Beauty and Self-Image
Mar 28th, 2012 by msibley

Our society is obsessed with vanity – would you agree? Thin is in. Looking through the latest fashion magazines makes this quite clear. But thin wasn’t always what stood as an idea of beauty. The western culture’s perspective of beauty has evolved throughout the decades in both negative and positive ways.

Check it out… Prior to the 20th century, the only job of a woman was to make herself look what the Victorian culture considered beautiful. This included but was not limited to wigs, corsets, powdered faces, long elegant dresses, etc. The society at the time expected women to be ‘chaste and delicate’. In the 1910′s, cosmetic fixations came onto the scene. Can you say metal nose shapers? No thanks!

 

"Wigs, corsets, and dresses, oh my!"

 

In the 1920′s and 1930′s, beauty was perceived in less extreme ways. The use of cosmetics and cosmetic advertising increased and there was more importance placed on the natural endowments of a woman. Modest was hottest. Hem lines dropped, and waistlines were accentuated. A natural perspective was taken on beauty. Until the mid 20th century, women were expected to dress to impress.

"Cosmetics and cosmetics advertising was seen more than ever in the 1920's."

The 1950′s brought about a new era. Emphasis on concealing flaws, self presentation, and conformity was still pushed upon women. However, beauty was not seen in tiny waistlines and unbreathable dresses. The average woman wore a size 12 to 16 and extremely curvaceous stars like Marilyn Monroe and Jayne Mansfield represented the ideal beautiful woman. What happened to this perspective on beauty??? When did thin become ‘in’?

"Marilyn Monroe was the face of beautiful women in the 1950's. She wore a size 12-14. The average woman in the 1950's was a size 12-16 and embraced that size."

In the 1960′s, models began to rival movie stars for the title of beautiful. An increasing focus on sexuality came into play, and young people began to leave behind values of modesty set by earlier decades. The natural approach to looking beautiful took a woman an average of 40 minutes to put on. (WHAT?! Doesn’t sound as natural as it may seem..) It was when Twiggy hit the scene of the fashion world that thin became a model of beauty. Twiggy was a naturally thin woman. Yet, as obsessed as women were with this look, most had to struggle to achieve it. Cosmetic surgery became more popular and an obsession with image and thinness was more vibrant than ever before.

"Twiggy was a naturally thin woman. Yet, many women, obsessed with her thin look, struggled to achieve it."

By the 1980′s, the health and fitness boom began. Underwear became outerwear, shorts got shorter, and tops got smaller. With this new interest in health and fitness for everyone, the ‘thin-is-beautiful’ mythology and underweight waif look was reinforced.

"The 1980's brought about a health and fitness for all boom, reinforcing the mythology that 'thin is in'."

 

By the 21st century, Marilyn Monroe, one considered to be extremely beautiful in the 1950′s, was considered fat. Although since the start of the millennium, curves have gotten more positive attention, they are still generally seen as negative by the media and fashion world. Still, the fashion world calls upon thin models to serve as ‘models’ for women across America.

Beauty has definitely evolved according to the evolution of our culture and times… But why is this….

 

 

and this…

 

… now considered more beautiful than this…

and this?….

 

 

Embrace yourself as you are. There is no exact definition of what beautiful is.

 

References:

  • Perceptions of Female Beauty in the 20th Century, Louise Wood, http://barneygrant.tripod.com/p-erceptions.htm
Big Fat Lies: The Ridiculous Things We Tell Ourselves.
Mar 2nd, 2012 by msibley

Every other week at Nutrition Paradox, we host a group called Intuitive Eating 101. Some weeks we focus on intuitive eating, and others we focus on body image and other topics. Last week, we focused on the big fat lies we tell ourselves. Adapted from the book, Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves by Amy Ahlers, it deemed to be a successful topic. Our group members were into discussing it, and it impacted me personally. (I’m totally a perfectionist and an overachiever!) Most of the things we tell ourselves about our body and our personal success are irrational thoughts. They often center around perfectionism, feelings of unhappiness, and comparing ourselves to others. It’s really easy to feel as if we aren’t perfect, that we are unhappy, or that we don’t measure up to others, especially in a society where image is such a huge concern for everyone.

Think about how many ads you see and hear on the TV, radio, in magazines, and even on billboards telling you how to ‘fix’ yourself – whether it be weight loss, plastic surgery, ‘magical creams’ to get back that youthful glow, etc. Everyone has a coworker that seems to take on so much and still tends to have it all together. You want to make sure you impress your boss or other authority figure. Some students feel guilt, anger, and disappointment towards themselves for getting a grade less than an A+.

Here are some common irrational thoughts and lies that we tell ourselves, and the positive affirmations, thoughts, and questions to consider in order to work through them.

 

BIG FAT LIE #1

I had better be perfect.

or

It has to be perfect. I have to get it right.

Perfection is unattainable. Again, perfection is unattainable. Falling into the trap of perfectionism leads to perpetual procrastination. When we fear we may not be doing things ‘right’, we often do not finish tasks or allow ourselves to move forward. Or worse, we don’t start tasks at all because we fear we will fail at doing them right or perfectly. No one is grading you.

Ask yourself:

  • What do you get out of being a perfectionist – whether you highly identify with it or if it is just 1 percent of who you are?
  • Does it make you feel safe?
  • Do you feel like you are always in control?
  • Does it prevent you from feeling scrutiny from others?
  • What is perfectionism costing you?
  • Are you isolated?
  • Are you procrastinating?
  • Have you lost confidence in your abilities?
  • What is more important than being perfect?
  • Moving forward and making progress on tasks?
  • Being happy?
  • Surviving through judgement of others?

Practice going for the ‘B’ rather than the ‘A’.

Tell yourself:

  • I value [insert what you value] more than perfection.

 

BIG FAT LIE #2

I am too [insert how you see yourself] .

(fat, thin, ugly, tall, short, etc.)

According to media experts, the average american is exposed to three thousand ads every day! And almost every one of those ads is telling us that we are not good enough and is selling us something to make us look prettier, younger, thinner, or all of the above.

Let that just…. sink into your soul for a minute.

Take a moment to ask yourself:

  • Too fat compared to whom?
  • Too old compared to what image?
  • Too ugly compared to what supermodel (who has been airbrushed and photoshopped to death)?

Now ask yourself:

  • What is this belief holding me back from?
  • What are you hardest on yourself about when it comes to your looks?
  • How true is this assumption?
  • In other words, is it your weight really keeping you from, for example, finding a partner?
  • Is it your, for example, big nose preventing that career change?
  • Is it simply you who is keeping you from what you want, rather than the, for example, wrinkles around your eyes or the size of your hips?

Think of a person who is also ‘too fat, too old, or too whatever-you-think-you-are who does have the success, love, or career that you want.

Try to think of something you don’t like about yourself, but something that you do like. Look at the whole person that you are by filling in the blanks:

  • I am too [insert what you consider to be negative characteristics] and I’m also [insert what you love that you consider to be positive characteristics].

Tell yourself:

  • I am beautiful and strong just the way I am.

 

BIG FAT LIE #3

When I get [insert characteristic] then i will be happy.

or

When I am [insert characteristic] then I will be happy.

Look back on all you have obtained.

Ask yourself:

  • Were these things a ‘cure-all’?
  • What are some things in your life that you appreciate?
  • What are some things in your life that you desire? (short term, long term, tangible, and intangible)

Pick one appreciation and one desire to focus on each day.

Expressing gratitude for your life today as well as your desires for what you want next will allow you to experience the delicious anticipation of what’s to come.

Tell yourself:

  • I am happy, content, and eager for more awesome things!

 

Check out Amy Ahlers Big Fat Lies Women tell Themselves for more! Buy her book here.

“A crucial message for women to stop being so hard on themselves. The tools and exercises in this book are transformational, and Amy Ahler’s insight, humor and enthusiasm are infectious.” -Marci Shimoff, New York Times bestselling author of Love for No Reason

 

“To wish you were someone else is to waste who you are.” – Unknown

References:

  • Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves, Amy Ahlers, 2011, New World Library, Novato, California
Boys Dying to be Thin
Feb 23rd, 2012 by msibley

MSNBC recently released an article and video news story about males and anorexia. It makes me really happy to see attention being brought to males finally!

Boys Dying to be Thin

Make sure to watch all the videos. There are two other additional videos included in the article that are very interesting and informative.

»
S
I
D
E
B
A
R
«
»  Substance: WordPress   »  Style: Ahren Ahimsa

Optimized by SEO Ultimate